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02:15pm 04/05/2005
mood: hopeful
i have no money...been unfortunate with people the last few months...go here...all you have to do is have a paypal account dont even need a credit card. you'll help me get a little money and youll get money too. i promise
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12:11pm 21/03/2005
mood: stressed
its been a very fucking long time since i wrote...things have been up and down but i dont think they could get any more down than they are at this moment unless johnny got hit by a car...in our car...and racked up yet another gigantic expense we cant even come close to paying. i think our car should just explode so we both die at the same time and the kitties dont. that way we wouldnt be bothered by it up until it happened b/c we wouldnt be expecting it. and there would be no more food or money or school to worry about, and no one to find and kill who fucked us over, which would also take care of the worrying about them finding us afterwards. jesus...yea i have absolutely nothing good to say at all. but hi to people i havent talked to in a while.
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long time no see   
03:55pm 10/01/2004
mood: apathetic
hmmm...most people know whats happened snce my last entry. i remember writing it too. it was the first night i watched speed, i had recently moved to timms and their mom was out and i stayed out all night and i was up online til like 5 in the morning. well, in case anyone doesnt now, i dont live there anymore. johnny and i got our own place at the end of smoketown in lakeridge. its been about 6 1/2 months for us now, and we got married in dennys a little over a year ago. thats pretty weird. i never thought id love anyone this much, but it doesnt surprise me that since i do it's johnny. from the first time i saw him at timmy's, which later turned into our room, he looked like he was mine. ok. enough of mushy stuff that would make me want to puke if i was reading it from someone else.
i got a mousie last week. she is veeeeeery cute. im getting another one for her to play with and a bigger cage now that i fucking finally activated my check card. hmmm i hope courtney decides to show up so we can pay feb's rent comfortably. we might have to eat leather like those colonial guys did on ships when they were starving. i wonder if that would cuont as meat....
all my buddies are gone at work. at least my favorite ones. except for killer. he needs to work when do. hes a very cool kid. johnny and i went to ihop after msi with him and jason and charlie brown and a kid johnny and i used to work with and other kids i dont remember.
pshhhh....its been so long since we've done anything. we got an 8th last week and it wore us the fuck out. that just shows we've been way too clean. that shouldnt happen to us.hopefully once courtney moves in we can fix that. and i wonder what happened to snoop.....maybe his girl beat him to death like she tried to do to mike. hehe that was a very funny day.
okay, to anyone whos reading still, i prolly miss you, unless i dont know or dont like you, in which case i dont. l8er.
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04:54am 23/07/2003
mood: tired

I Will Die of Natural Causes.
Your choice of life style has enabled you to live a nice long life.. To eventually die of a stroke, or was it a heart attack.. Either way you out lived just about anyone that gave a shit about you anyway.. Congrats

Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now!

hmmmm so much has happened and i have so 1itt1e to say
ty1ers computer doesnt work for shit cuz SOMEONE fucked it up.
definat1y not timm. definat1y not...
i guess the biggest thing to have happened to me since ive been here has been johnny, no pun intended. im actua11y pretty shocked at how much i 1ike him and not on1y can stand to be around him but i actua11y want to be. vice versa too. he keeps saying gir1friend, but he a1so understands that it may not aways be on1y him. if i can have a boyfriend who i actua11y 1ike with that understanding, then i rea11y can not comp1ain. i just wish he got a11ong better with 1ike....everyone....

Rose McGowan
You charming girl, you're Rose McGowan.

What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla
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fuck some falls church   
08:25pm 20/06/2003
mood: relaxed
Magic Number10
PersonalityParanoid And With Good Reason
TemperamentA Yo-Yo
SexualJust Say No
Likely To WinNothing
Me - In A WordChinny
Brought to you by MemeJack

woohoo. im out. i have my own room. which i already had, but a long way away from where i wanted to be. its been almost all good since ive been there. sibling rivalry, but thats everywhere. we cant all be misch's. it would be nice if those here here too tho.
we got the kitte back. she is all kinds of cuteness everywhere. she claws randomly and often tho. buffy's gotten all nice now too.
erin's birthday show = next week, which = new jersey for me!
i've been lovin me some K-Mart lately. useful plce that is, as long as you have the right people to go with it. i do say.
ive met a few people, and i have yet to see a lot too. ive seen tyler a decent amount of time i guess, which is good, b/c i was worried i may have had lost my baby. but i didnt. muahaha. hes different tho. i do not like that i missed the transition.
whitney made me drop my camera in the hot tub. that little bitch. i hope it'll magically start working again.

You're 'Lollirot!'
You're 'Lollirot'! You're sick and tired of all
those lying assholes out there. You think most
people are superficial and 'candy-coated'. You
like to voice your opinions. Congratulations.

Which Jack Off Jill song are YOU!?
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06:53pm 06/06/2003
mood: calm
You are Bettie Page!
You're Bettie Page!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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woohoo bettie page is hotness.
blah. time is slow. but at least not going backwards.
yay closure...or however you spell it. i got to explain to a kid, who shall remain nameless to aviod bitch sessions that im tired of, exactly what made me hate him and it was...weird, but good i think. i wouldnt mind talking further, b/c there are a lot of areas i didnt even think to cover. but i got free taco bell. that i dont mind.

I'm an Atheist!

Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons

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11:16am 04/06/2003
mood: indifferent
welp, i had graduation. i got $100 in K mart dollaz. yay food for me.
im kinda bummed. i so intended on going to that all night grad party. i did! but wags and drew and homie and carlos come over and they were gonna give me a ride up there, and we were gonna go by amanda barnes for an hour or so first. then they went on a beer run that i threw down on, which ended up getting taken over to isaacs. hm that was a fun place, but its the cause of me never seeing a lot of people ever again. im sad about it, but i had fun seen here:

then we went to dan (schriber?)'s and smoked quite the nice joint. i came home and passed out about 5. fun time but kinda shitty to have missed my last school thing. but joe and amanda did too, and theyre not too torn up.
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last day of school   
08:57pm 02/06/2003
mood: anxious
so i sat thru the last day of high school class ever today. i didnt even think i was going to do that, but i ended up seeing my jew and i sat in his class with him and talked to kids i never talked to before and prolly never will again.
i sat with him and dana for our last lunch time and i didnt expect to do anything but walk home, since becky left as soon as she got her graduation outfit, but katie was there adn she said she'd give me a ride to the senior picnic...however you spell that odd little word...something i did not expect to happen at all either, but im very glad it did. and on the way there, who do we see at the stoplight, but wes and becky in wes's car. hmm..i hope they had a whole buttload of fun.
so at the picnic, i talked to a lot of people i dont usually, and i talked to all the people i have been feuding with for over a year with the exception of josh, which im glad i did. maybe ill see them before i leave. that would be...well i dont really know how that would be. i dont think it would be bad tho. kind of nostalgic prolly.
somehow, i ended up going to dc with kamal and jessica and i had lots of fun. ill miss those kids, but im sure ill see em again. i think i almost like that my times with falls church people are, for the most part, drug-free. i guess even tho my 2nd little world of high school is over, i still kinda have one with all the people i'll hopefully keep touch with. ill miss it tho.
for anyone who's interested, here's a link to the pictures of today...
there'll prolly be one for graduation and the after party tomorrow too....i doubt any of you read this post tho....
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02:09pm 31/05/2003
mood: ecstatic
You are Bob!
You are Bob Marley!

Who are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ooooooh, i am overjoyed!! i have a roooooom!!!! its all trashed, but who the hell cares. shit-look at what i live in now. mmmmmm i'm happy. i fiiiiiiiinally made it down to dale city last night and saw a whole bunch of people. not for very long, but i saw them. mmmm i cant wait to get out of here. and im very very VERY glad to find that other people share in my happiness. im thinking the 11th, if its ok with laura, will be my d day. timmy bought 40s and i got to drink...altho i didnt get to drink a lot, b/c i smoked too much, but who can complain, yo? he gave me a necklace with a pot leaf that says blunt under it and said i didnt have to worry about people anymore, which is so true!! mmm yay. all happines everywhere.
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10:49am 30/05/2003
mood: accomplished
glass pipe
You are a GLASS PIPE.

Which Pot-Smoking Apparatus Are You?
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well im in my last class of high school ever....its sad.....
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Rectar, wielder of the Triple-Ripple Butt Plug   
08:53pm 29/05/2003
mood: accomplished
well, im gonna live with timmy!! this makes me exceedingly happy, but also sad, b/c it doesnt make him happy at all. (im sorry timm. i luv you.)thats no good at all.

If I were a hygiene product, I'd be


Click here to find out which hygiene product you'd be at BRAINPUKE.COM!

on a happier note, i can apparently be all insightful and shit and see the good in people....? go me then. so, we got to go exploring and smoking in our old territorry today with andrew. if anyones interested, there is a particularly interesting video clip of him blowing up a tv in the woods here...


we sat under this tarp to smoke, and he found a tree to climb up some 30/40 feet. i told him it would be funny if he jumped off the tree onto the tarp....so tomorrow we're gonna go back and video tape him doing that. crazyass kid. but oh well. i like him. and he never falls....i hope he doesnt fall with us. we wont know what the hell we're supposed to do. so then we took him somewhere else that i can unveil due to people who may read this...and then becky and i went to bennigans and saw sammy wammy (haha) and mkatt. and mkatts girlfriend, emily. she doesnt like me, and i dont know why, bnut i went over and talked to her anyways just to see what shed do. she didnt have much to say....too bad....
so tomorrow i think we're going to luke's? maaaaaybe that'll be cool. but i put no bets on it.

If I were an STD, I'd be


Click here to find out which STD you'd be at BRAINPUKE.COM!

sunrise, here i come. (i see one!)
02:16pm 27/05/2003
mood: okay
drunk guy
You are 0% straight edge

How straight edge are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ha-aint that some shit? i didnt even think thats what i was going to get. i have less than a week of school left. isnt that sad? im gonna miss spike. and vally. and lots of people...hmmmm but none of you know any of them, so im not really sure why im writing about them...brittneys getting a big atari teenage riot tatoo on her lower back/upper ass. fun for her? i want to get one (TIMMY!! YOU SO HAVE NOT EVEN DESIGNED ONE FOR ME YET, HO!), but i dont know what....plus they're not free. at all. Mkatt and emily are on a 'temporary break'...isnt that interesting...im supposed to call him today at 4. i have a headache. maybe ill write more later.
Oddly Fun Evening   
12:10am 25/05/2003
mood: pleased
So becky went to hfs....fun...
I thought i wouldnt really like the new AFI song, but i saw the video for it today, and i got an e-mail from johnny the other day, and davey soooo reminded me of him and the whole song just makes me think about the good times times that should not be over, so ive been watching it all day.
Mkatt called me about 5:30 and saved me from wishing it was possible to sleep for weeks at a time. for the time being, anyways...so he got my mom to give me money and i went and laser tagged it up for 3 hours with him and gabe and dustin and spike and this weird kid mike. rare sober fun. i forget how much i like mkatt when i dont see him for lengthy periods of time. i took pictures. he and his girlfriend are having problems.....i wonder if thats going to make a difference in my activities comming up....what and odd odd unexpected little twinge that would be. but it would be long distance and hes always been the only one i dont cringe about...which is also weird. and older than me, which for some reason is not something i come across too often, but still prefer.
dave is sending me a copy of his zine. he wants me to go with him to the west coast. i wanna go real bad, but i cant. it would throw stuff off way too much too soon. i wanna make sure nothing will work before i do that. maybe i will someday. i wanna travel with him really badly tho. man hes a hot little boy. i would have me some fun there, but im sure somehow or another id get fucked by it and have nothing after a while...that might be the case with current plans as well. fucking future....why the hell does it have to matter.
time should go faster   
03:26am 24/05/2003
mood: angry
You are the Geopoliticus Child Watching the Birth
of a New Man. You seem kind of dismal, but it
looks like you still have hope. Just believe it
will all get better.

Which work of Salvador Dali are you?
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im quite ready for school to be over. i know im gonna miss it, but definatly not enough to wish i was still there. its gonna suck not seeing all my little buddies there, but i never see them out of school, and thats the majority of the time i am awake. i think ill even miss the school drama, b/c finally, i can just hear about it and kind of follow it without actually being in it. its very very strange to be able to truthfully say that the social aspect of school is the only thing going right. and of course it has to be over now.


Which HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Character Are You?
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so i dyed the tips of my dreads pink (you can take a peek here... http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/gutterpixxie/vwp?.dir=/My+Photos/other+kids&.src=ph&.dnm=haha+emily.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/bc/gutterpixxie/lst%3f%26.dir=/My%2bPhotos/other%2bkids%26.src=ph%26.view=t allong with the 2 pics before it on that page), which apparently has gotten me kicked out by 6 the day after graduation. i wonder if thats actually going to happen, b/c i have a dentist appt on the 10th which i kind of want to stick around for, b/c that'll prolly be the last one for a real long time, if ever. it may be a good thing tho. it would get me up and moving rather than putting it off b/c i have so much shit to move and i dont want to leave my big baby boobie and my house and all the other aspects of here that i like which are definatly not strong enough to overpower the ones i wish would just die. or the distance between here and dale city, which i hear has completely gone to shit, but im definatly more than willing to give it a try. it has good people im pretty equal to, which is pretty much all i care about. i wonder if im even gonna make it into nova for the next semester. i still have to take a placement test and i wonder if its too late to do that now. i also wonder if it even matters b/c i may not even pass high school, which i think id be happier with, but possibly not in the long run. either way im definatly not excited about college in the least bit. or getting a fucking job. man, fuck jobs. having other people dictate your free time is a bitch and hardly worth getting the money they'll give you if even that. i dont really think it is.....

Your Hedwig song is: Angry Inch!
Your Hedwig song is: Angry Inch!

Which ''Hedwig'' song are you?
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until better times...
....or equally as shitty ones...
...its prolly that one....
12:57am 23/05/2003
mood: irritated

so...the festival....that ws heaven. man. total freedom. best trip ever. even tho i had a bad trip on shrooms. but man...tripping in the middle of a bunch of hippies on acid dancing around you everywhere with glow thingies and lights and wonderful loud music where even the bouncer guys behind the barracade are dancing...man it was the coolest thing ever. and man, the trees and the clouds...awesome. just awesome. i miss everyone far too much. ill see you in due time tho, kids. as long as all goes alright.
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More Shithood   
10:06pm 27/04/2003
mood: nostalgic
welp, this weekend was a blast....i got to stay home for 3 days in a row, and the day before those 3 days in a row i was sick.
i got to smoke the rest of my pot.....and do my wee bit of capsuled happiness from my little jar head. and i drank the remainder of paige and kimmie's donation (i luuuuv those girls). so when i was drinking, i put on against me, b/c what better drinking music, right? but of course, it reminded me of the magical week of bliss in the herb house with my boys and i got all sad. i miss them all lots and lots. dave, if youre reading this, i miss you kid. and will. and (haha) even sal. i wish i could relive that little era of time. it was a good little era. prolly one of the best. drinking is definatly a social thing, but when i dont leave my house, nothing is a social thing and it ends up just making me sad remembering past social things.
and so the countdown continues.....a month.....maybe more like 40 or 50 days....but still, at least theres a countDOWN. that brings a mere flicker of hope.
all good.....i guess thats the nearest promise of fun. as long as i find someone who can and will be so kind as to do me a favor and order a ticket for me....
proms next weekend...**blankness....** last year my dad gave me $60 before i left for prom. i wonder if hell be so kind this year. i doubt it. no ones ever kind like that anymore.

to all who were there, and any who are interested, heres a memory/image that may bring a smile to your face. i think ill post it in everyones journal who was there....just in case they dont see this.....


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Goddamnit, Im FUCKING going to KILL soneone   
10:42pm 21/04/2003
mood: angry
this day has been complete shit. EVERYTHING that people have said tonight has made it even shittier. i fucking want my own car. i cant WAIT to not live here. i cant wait to have the omni-link to take me anywhere i want to go and for only 75 cents ( why the fuck dont they have a cents symbol on the goddamn keyboard???). im going to kill the next person who i have to talk to. and ill live with anyone ill need number of people for. the end of school needs to come a whole lot faster. and people need to stop bothering me. i think i need to be left alone for a while. unless im choosing the people im around...but i dont know how id get to them....since NO ONE USEFUL EVER HAS A CAR. I NEEED A CAR. and i cant stand anyone who lives here anymore. i dont know why you kids want to leave dale city. its the only place i can go and not want to shoot everyone around me. you should fucking hear me typing. every key i hit im fucking hitting really really hard. and my mom came out to bitch about it. IM GOING TO KILL HER ASS TOO!! GODDAMNIT!!!!!! i neeeeeeeed to get out of here. a lot. and i need more passifiars. i dont know why peopl say they drink their problems away. since i started drinking, im even more enraged and banging on the keyboard even harder. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
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this acid is shit   
03:02am 18/04/2003
mood: pissed off
notice how i said shit. and not the shit. man pat took 5 hits of this shit. yuck. i feel sorry for him. this acid is gross. i just want to go take a shower. this entry prolly sounds really dumb.
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just to write something   
10:35am 07/04/2003
mood: depressed
i really have nothing i want to say on livejournal, but i havent said anything in a long time. this is really just something to say im not dead. everything is complete shit. ifb i dont see you guys for a while, im sorry. it doesnt mean i dont want to.
zacks a vagina   
11:09am 28/03/2003
mood: anxious
skolls almost done, and zack is going to be a big giant cunt for halloween. he can spread all open on peoples doorsteps when trick or treating. and like, flush red stuff out onto them. i wonder if theyll know what he is.